And, I love London …
– From Internet
- You say “the city" and expect everyone to know which one …
- You have never been to The Tower or Madame Tussauds but love Brighton.
- You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Shepherds Bush to Elephant & Castle at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can’t find Dorset on a map.
- Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
- You’ve considered stabbing someone just for saying “The Big Smoke."
- You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
- You call an 8′ x 10′ plot of patchy grass a garden.
- You complain about having to mow it.
- You know where Karl Marx is buried.
- You consider Essex the “countryside"
- You think Hyde Park is “nature."
- You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer’s speaking.
- You’re paying £1,200 a month for a studio the size of a walk-in wardrobe and you think it’s a bargain.
- You’ve been to Tooting twice and got hopelessly lost both times.
- You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.K. pay in rent.
- You haven’t seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went camping as a kid.
- You pay £3 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p.
- You scoff at zone 4 crowd even though you were raised in a farm town with a population of 57.
- You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.
- You haven’t cooked a meal since helping mum last Christmas with the turkey.
- You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.
- Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
- You have a minimum of five “worst cab ride ever" stories.
- You don’t really hear sirens anymore.
- You wouldn’t want to live anywhere else – until you get married.